Chemotherapy cycle number 11 and life still goes on

So today I realized that I have not been sharing my life experiences.  To recap, I was diagnosed with breast cancer a week before my birthday. Life was just getting exciting again. I just started my new job using my license as a Radiologic Technologist. My schedule was perfect for my life, the house and kids. I was working part time and still was able to attend college during the day. My girlfriends claims that I'm a professional student and yes I claim it.  I'm already making plans on when to start going back to school to finish my BA after my surgeries.

I go to chemo every Friday with my husband, so I will start with this.  I still drive to the infusion center, it helps me not to think about what is about to happen to me.  I get to focus on the road, traffic, and talk to my husband about what to do or expect for the next couple of days.  We park and go to the lab to draw blood.  Drawing the blood and taking my weight ensures that the chef that puts the chemicals together are the right dosage for my weight and numbers.  I have a better control of my high blood pressure, I have my phone remind me to take my pills every morning.  After taking the blood we walk back over to the infusion center and get checked in to get a chair. The one thing that was giving me anxiety was the saline push giving into my chest to see if I have a good line to my heart.  I finally found some soft peppermint to chew on as they slowly push the saline into the chest valve Then we start all the medicines.  The pepsin to settle my stomach, taxol, and carboal.  I was given benedryll50mg but it made my leg jump around and itch, so they brought the meds down to 25mg.  I don't have the crazy jumpy leg that much but its better.  I used to ativan  so that I can not be aware of the hours that my body was going through.  I stayed focused and talk to others around me and I took no Ativan.  

I usually come straight home and sleep for hours.  Then my body is so heavy and feels weighted down. I have to pee every hour cause I drink water constantly.  I'm suppose to drink about 64 oz per day (some kind of fluid).  This was the first time without the Ativan that I felt like a little bit normal.  I only laid down, after the chemo and had a bowl of soup.  I was able to watch t.v. and mingle with the family.  The next day is usually the worst for me and I felt like it was day 3 or 4 of after chemo.  I still get tired very quick.  So I have to listen to my body.  When Iam tired, or my eyes hurt I will go lay down.  So now I have new problems.  My feet and hands are starting to tinkle more, nose bleeds, and eye infection.  The family had already realized my frustration and calmness had changed.  The steroid from chemo, from the pills at home and now the new antibodies with steroid was all affecting my personality.  My husband has grown to understand when I going through this emotional meltdown and anxiety and he tells me that everything is going to be alright and then we talk about something positive that we are looking forward to doing together.

He really has helped me since my "chemo brain" sneaks up on me.  Chemo brain is the impaired of cognitive things such as I lose my words and I don't multitask like I use to.  You can tell about the first 3 to 4 days after chemo I sleep more, only do one task at a time, and have people around me to remind me or my cozi calendar reminder.

I love it when it about day 5, 6, and 7. I get this surge of energy and I started to drive, run errands, cooking 2 or 3 meals all on one day.  I mean I wake up and cook breakfast for everyone and then two different dinners.  I go grocery shopping and pay bills.  This is the time that I read my Continue Educational Radiology books.  I study my Rosetta Stone (Spanish) and me and my son are learning how to use sign language.

In two weeks I meet with the plastic surgeon.  It has already started to bother me and I'm nervous. I started watching more YouTube video's on double mastectomy cant imagine how I will feel after my whole chest being gone, and then I have to come back every two week and have a fluid pumped into balloon.  I'm just shaking my head.

Today is the day

I didn't receive much sleep last night, as I was worried about my results.  I keep everything on the down low just between me and my husband.  He went to work that day and I started cooking breakfast for my boys. Then the phone rang, it was a Doctor from the Breast center and he put it to me boldly, I'am sorry to inform you that the the test results revealed that you have stage  2B breast cancer, I was floored.  What does this really mean? We have made an appointment for you to come in and meet with our team so we can get started on treating you.

The next day I meet my Breast team and they were so nice the whole way.  They spoke with me gently and slow and explained things to me in not using really big words.  I felt important and informed.  I meet later that week with my oncologist and we discussed the treament plan.  I also meet with a gentic counslor to consult me on getting blood test done to see if a specific gene ran in my family.  It was called the BRACA test.  The next day I called my father who I have not spoken to in months.  I said hello and he started the conversation with oh hi we just buried your Auntie.  She passed away from ovarian cancer.  And there might be somthing wrong with his prostate. So since we were talking about cancer in the family I proceeded to tell him what was going on with me.  He broke down immediatlly and gave me contact information to another auntie that went through this.  I spoke with my aunt and she explained to me how the mutatuted BRACA 2 gene runs in our family.  She had a double mastocomy. I also learned that BRACA 2 up the chances for ovarian cancer and that our ovareiey need to come out before the age of 40.  Knowing all this information was and still is over whelming.

What would be your thought right now?